Vegematic [Am] [Em] [Am] [E7] [Am] [Am]Fell asleep last night with the TV on [E]Oh, what a [E7]dream I [Am]had [Am]Dreamed I went and answered every [E]single one of those late night mail order [E7]ads And [Am]four to six weeks later, much to [E]my surp[Am]rise The [Am]mailman came to my front door And I [E]couldn't [E7]believe my [E]eyes When he brought the [Am]Vegematic And the [E]Pocket [E7]Fisherman [Am]too [Am]Illuminated [C]illustrated[Am] history of life [E]Boxcar Willie with a [E7]Ginzu knife A [Am]bamboo steamer, and a[E] Garden Weasel too [Am] And a [Am]tie-dyed[C] dayglo [Am]souvenir shirt from [E]Six Flags[E7] Over [Am]Burbank Guitar lick Well the [Am]doorbell rang all morning [Am]and all through the [E]afternoon [Am] I [Am]shook with freight as it rang all night To the [E]light of the [E7]Master Card [E]moon There was [Am]Parcel Post in the pantry [E]UPS in [E7]the hall[Am] [Am]COD [C] to the [Am]ceiling [E]and I just [E7]couldn't pay for it [E]all I got the [Am]egg scrambler, with [E]a Seal-a-Meal[E7] carrying [Am]case A [Am]set of [C]presidential[Am] commemorative plates [E]So I could eat my eggs off[E7] the President's face [E] A [Am]Minute Mender, and[E] a needle that'll[E7] knit or [Am]crochet And an [Am]autographed[C] photograph of [Am]Rin Tin Tin At [E]Six Flags[E7] Over [Am]Burbank Guitar lick I [Am]remembered I was dreaming, so I gave a [E]mighty [Am]cheer When [Am]I awoke, it was no joke, cause[E] all that[E7] shit was [E]here So if [Am]you fall asleep with the TV on, [E]let me tell you what[E7] to do[Am] [Am]Rip the tele[C]phone out of the [Am]wall [E]unless you want it to [E7]happen to [E]you You get the [Am]Vegematic, and the[E] Pocket [E7]Fisherman [Am]too [Am]Illuminated[C] illustrated [Am]history of [E]life And [E]Boxcar Willie with a [E7]Ginzu knife A [Am]bamboo steamer, and a [E]smokeless [E7]ashtray [Am]too And an [Am]all [C]expenses paid [Am]weekend for three at [E]Six Flags[E7] Over [A]Burbank